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Hey, I feel like I owe some people an apology, I've been saying some crazy stuff, like Incel Maxxing, and I would like to apologize, I haven't been alright for a while right now, emotionally or physically. I would like to give some info on myself to maybe best clarify my state of mind right now.
I'm 21yo, 206lbs 5"9 (not of muscle), for EU that is 93kg, Basically I'm Obese, SHOCKER right, also in College right now pursuing a Computer Science degree, however right now I'm just doing a bunch of prereq courses in a community college, I have an Exam due on the 14th, and I've done jack shit and my grade Rn is a 35, which is actually not my fault if you'll believe it, a glitch happened on my first exam, and it kicked me out. This PreCalc Course I've had to retake because of this MOD and this dumb addiction, and it's looking like I'm gonna have to take it AGAIN if I don't do well on the next 2 exams, also I've been sick and the guilt of reinstalling and sickness has done a number on my mind.
when I had my steam deleted I lost like 20lbs, been a tough winter and a relapse and gained it all back, so I just get into this state of mind where I hate everybody, I don't want to be here, these people aren't my friends, move on, just move on, and while your steam is in the process of being deleted (which takes 30 days), you aren't allowed to buy any games, so it's not like I can just buy gmod to make new friends, I have to wait, I feel like I'm in a 2 weeks notice with a job that I really hate.
Speakings of jobs I'm Unemployed, NO WAY, it's almost like when I say rude things to people it's projection, who would've thought, thing is I would probably be working a construction job or smth but I'm FAT AF and would probably die on the first day of the job, anyways the point is when I say hateful things its usually because I hate myself, like a lot.
I think this has been the worst gaming experience of my life, next to maybe battlefront 2 cause I had an addiction with that game while I was in highschool, cheating just to play it for 8hrs a day, got like top 3 leaderboard everytime but at the cost of being +50lbs, last good star wars memory I've had was playing lego star wars at my friends house, that was 15 years ago.
Right now I'm just counting down the days till the 21st, so I can start getting my shit together, gonna hit the gym this summer and get back on my indie game dev journey
I'm 21yo, 206lbs 5"9 (not of muscle), for EU that is 93kg, Basically I'm Obese, SHOCKER right, also in College right now pursuing a Computer Science degree, however right now I'm just doing a bunch of prereq courses in a community college, I have an Exam due on the 14th, and I've done jack shit and my grade Rn is a 35, which is actually not my fault if you'll believe it, a glitch happened on my first exam, and it kicked me out. This PreCalc Course I've had to retake because of this MOD and this dumb addiction, and it's looking like I'm gonna have to take it AGAIN if I don't do well on the next 2 exams, also I've been sick and the guilt of reinstalling and sickness has done a number on my mind.
when I had my steam deleted I lost like 20lbs, been a tough winter and a relapse and gained it all back, so I just get into this state of mind where I hate everybody, I don't want to be here, these people aren't my friends, move on, just move on, and while your steam is in the process of being deleted (which takes 30 days), you aren't allowed to buy any games, so it's not like I can just buy gmod to make new friends, I have to wait, I feel like I'm in a 2 weeks notice with a job that I really hate.
Speakings of jobs I'm Unemployed, NO WAY, it's almost like when I say rude things to people it's projection, who would've thought, thing is I would probably be working a construction job or smth but I'm FAT AF and would probably die on the first day of the job, anyways the point is when I say hateful things its usually because I hate myself, like a lot.
I think this has been the worst gaming experience of my life, next to maybe battlefront 2 cause I had an addiction with that game while I was in highschool, cheating just to play it for 8hrs a day, got like top 3 leaderboard everytime but at the cost of being +50lbs, last good star wars memory I've had was playing lego star wars at my friends house, that was 15 years ago.
Right now I'm just counting down the days till the 21st, so I can start getting my shit together, gonna hit the gym this summer and get back on my indie game dev journey
