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So I've been considering not even posting this, but I feel like I should, you probably already saw my post in the past "I think I'm done", yes I said I was done, well, "thinking", and I did take a good break, basically the whole summer, had a blast, like one for the books honestly, shooted hoops, got into games, health has been doing much much better, been applying to some software engineering jobs and that's been going well, then september came around, I've been taking a prerequisite class to transfer and it was going well, hell everything was going well and uhh then I got back into this game, went from A- to D-, lol, and also I want to try to get you guys to understand how my "MB2" days, go, been like this for years, a little embarrasing but who cares, I wake up, usually around 12pm est, I get breakfast, I watch some youtube, then around 2pm I get on, play for about 7-8hrs, then I masturbate, then I hate myself, like a lot, and I know it's pretty normalized in this world you know we just call em goons and joke about it, but Imo, it's as bad as any other addiction, like it destroys my fucking pride, also to add on to it I don't do anything productive so there's that. I can't do this anymore, if I keep doing this, 5, 10, years down the line, I know I'm gonna be a fucking loser, jobless, no flesh and blood friends, gonna be built like a fucking reddit mod. If anything I said even remotely is relatable to you, please, I'm begging you, just go, you don't owe anybody here anything, go make new friends, is it hard? yes, but there's this saying I like "easy way, hard life, hard way, easy life", and you only got 1 of em, you don't respawn once you go. Is it selfish? I've fought in my head about this before, and no, it's not, It's selfish to neglect your life and mind for a bunch of sad, mentally warped people, I'm not harpening on yuh I also got warped, we need to heal.
I don't know how I got this way, I wish things were different, so this is how it ends, my steam acc is set to delete Oct 20th (yes just to get rid of JA), already made a new one, and no I'm not coming back, if you'd want me to be happy at all, you'd support me leaving. I have only one favor to ask before I go, if I can get anything out of these past 3 years, please, PLEASE, accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, not asking for much here, please, believe he is the Son of God, and that he died for your sins, and that you're a sinner, ask him to save you. that's it, that's all I want, if you could spread it to others that would be great, but whether you get to know him and grow, is up to you. Do not be sad, Do not be mad at others, nor yourself, stop being miserable. Hopefully I helped somebody today, maybe ya'll got some free therapy I don't know. Hopefully I made a lasting effect with this, sometimes things need to end for something to start, and if you're going through a hard time, just know, that I'm rooting for you, and praying for you. Love you, bye.
I don't know how I got this way, I wish things were different, so this is how it ends, my steam acc is set to delete Oct 20th (yes just to get rid of JA), already made a new one, and no I'm not coming back, if you'd want me to be happy at all, you'd support me leaving. I have only one favor to ask before I go, if I can get anything out of these past 3 years, please, PLEASE, accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, not asking for much here, please, believe he is the Son of God, and that he died for your sins, and that you're a sinner, ask him to save you. that's it, that's all I want, if you could spread it to others that would be great, but whether you get to know him and grow, is up to you. Do not be sad, Do not be mad at others, nor yourself, stop being miserable. Hopefully I helped somebody today, maybe ya'll got some free therapy I don't know. Hopefully I made a lasting effect with this, sometimes things need to end for something to start, and if you're going through a hard time, just know, that I'm rooting for you, and praying for you. Love you, bye.
